Toxic marriages sometimes look acceptable from the outside. In fact, the spouses themselves may have a hard time recognizing the unhealthy dynamic. Particularly in cases that do not involve overt abuse, people may question whether the marital relationship is truly bad enough to warrant divorce.
However, a relationship can be unhealthy and damaging without necessarily involving overt domestic violence. Toxic marriages could involve a partner who is controlling and manipulative. There could be financial inequity or infidelity. Emotional abuse could also make a marital relationship relatively toxic and unhealthy.
Those hoping to leave a toxic or abusive marriage may need support and to plan carefully to protect themselves from a potentially volatile situation. What steps are important when divorcing a toxic spouse?
Securing records early
One of the ways that a toxic spouse may try to manipulate the divorce process is by denying access to financial records. They might also manipulate or alter records to try to avoid accountability for previous financial misconduct.
Those planning to leave a toxic marriage may very well benefit from gathering financial records and household documentation before their spouse learns about their intentions. That way, they have original records that they can compare to anything provided by their spouse.
Identifying sources of support
Individuals exiting toxic relationships often have a long road to recovery ahead of them. The abuse and mistreatment they may have endured for years can affect everything from their self-esteem and their earning potential to their relationships with their children and extended family.
People often need to work to rebuild relationships damaged over the course of a long-term toxic marriage. They may also need to start tapping into secondary resources, including their local faith community. Counseling services and support groups can also be important tools for those trying to heal from a toxic marriage.
Acquiring legal support early
Toxic individuals sometimes try to weaponize the legal system for their own benefit. They may engage in abusive court filings and may try to coerce their spouses into making inappropriate concessions or accepting unfair terms.
People often need lawyers to educate them about their rights and handle communications so that they don’t fall victim to manipulation attempts. Attorneys can also help people identify legal options and sources of support at a time when they feel lonely, scared and vulnerable.
With the right planning and assistance, leaving behind a toxic marriage may be feasible. Making the decision to leave a toxic marriage may be the first step toward a healthier and happier future after years of feeling trapped in an imbalanced relationship.